Interview with Church Leaders

Question:What is the position of the Church on same-gender attraction and same-gender marriage?

This interview can be read in it’s entirety at

http://www.lds.org/newsroom/issues/answer/0,19491,6056-1-202-4-202,00.html

 

PUBLIC AFFAIRS: On the issue of a Constitutional amendment prohibiting same-gender marriage, there are some Latter-day Saints who are opposed to same-gender marriage, but who are not in favor of addressing this through a Constitutional amendment. Why did the Church feel that it had to step in that direction?ELDER OAKS: Law has at least two roles: one is to define and regulate the limits of acceptable behavior. The other is to teach principles for individuals to make individual choices. The law declares unacceptable some things that are simply not enforceable, and there’s no prosecutor who tries to enforce them. We refer to that as the teaching function of the law. The time has come in our society when I see great wisdom and purpose in a United States Constitutional amendment declaring that marriage is between a man and a woman. There is nothing in that proposed amendment that requires a criminal prosecution or that directs the attorneys general to go out and round people up, but it declares a principle and it also creates a defensive barrier against those who would alter that traditional definition of marriage. There are people who oppose a federal Constitutional amendment because they think that the law of family should be made by the states. I can see a legitimate argument there. I think it’s mistaken, however, because the federal government, through the decisions of life-tenured federal judges, has already taken over that area. This Constitutional amendment is a defensive measure against those who would ignore the will of the states appropriately expressed and require, as a matter of federal law, the recognition of same-gender marriages — or the invalidation of state laws that require that marriage be between a man and a woman. In summary, the First Presidency has come out for an amendment (which may or may not be adopted) in support of the teaching function of the law. Such an amendment would be a very important expression of public policy, which would feed into or should feed into the decisions of judges across the length and breadth of the land. ELDER WICKMAN: Let me just add to that, if I may. It’s not the Church that has made the issue of marriage a matter of federal law. Those who are vigorously advocating for something called same-gender marriage have essentially put that potato on the fork. They’re the ones who have created a situation whereby the law of the land, one way or the other, is going to address this issue of marriage. This is not a situation where the Church has elected to take the matter into the legal arena or into the political arena. It’s already there. The fact of the matter is that the best way to assure that a definition of marriage as it now stands continues is to put it into the foundational legal document of the United States. That is in the Constitution. That’s where the battle has taken it. Ultimately that’s where the battle is going to be decided. It’s going to be decided as a matter of federal law one way or the other. Consequently it is not a battleground on such an issue that we Latter-day Saints have chosen, but it has been established and we have little choice but to express our views concerning it, which is really all that the Church has done. Decisions even for members of the Church as to what they do with respect to this issue must of course rest with each one in their capacity as citizens.

 

(I bolded a part that I found particularly interesting in light of my previous post. The Church chooses to follow God’s Plan. )

Politics and such

Now on a more serious note...I have been very preoccupied with the up coming elections and studying the candidates and the issues this past week.  I pretty much have my mind made up on most of what will be on my ballot.  The kids and I have even spent a few days campaigning for a few of our favorite candidates - very effective government lesson!  We have signs in the yard and have distributed pamphlets to the neighborhood.  We visited the campaign headquarters of a few candidates to pick up the stuff and the kids thought that was cool.  One wonderful lady delivered her signs and pamphlets right to our home and visited us for a while.  I have called several candidates to get first hand information instead of relying on second-hand biased news reports and have enjoyed talking with them very much.  I just finished watching tonight's debate for Superintendent of Public Instruction.  To me the choice is clear in that race.  I would encourage all who missed it to watch it online at www. Idahoptv.org.

The thing to remember in politics is that the Great War in Heaven was fought over agency. As much as Heavenly Father wanted all of his children to enjoy the blessing of a God like life, he rejected the use of force and gave us the eternal principle of agency. The war is still going on today on many fronts. Remember this from one of my previous posts – “the two belief systems are 1 - People are free to choose for themselves in life and will, therefore, learn to avoid pain and seek happiness and that they are responsible for the consequences of those choices. And 2- We people are not capable of making the "right" choices in life and must therefore be controlled and forced to do what others believe is best for us.”

Whether in parenting skills or government, we need to judge based on what (and who’s) plan we choose to follow.

Studying politics has strengthened my testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I understand Alma 31:5 better. “And now, as the preaching of the word had a great tendency to lead the people to do that which was just – yea, it had had more powerful effect upon the minds of the people than the sword, or anything else, which had happened unto them….” Some things just can’t be legislated.

I say, “GO BRAD!” Imagine how many social programs could be cut if people believed. Even just following the word of wisdom would change the world – but we know that legislation can’t force that (think Prohibition, bootleggers and moonshine), only desire to choose the right and knowledge of what is right. Difficult in a world of relative values.

We recently started fiddle lessons instead of violin lessons. We are LOVING it. Even Gracie gets a little lesson. The other day, we were all occupied with various things not particularly paying any attention to Grace. She went over to the violin cabinent and got out her violin. She carefully tightened her little bow and got into playing position herself. I usually get a little nervous when she practices on her own because she likes to take apart her fiddle - I am getting pretty good at replacing her bridge, fine tuners and her frog. So I was watching all this from a distance. She played a little bit, then she dropped her bow and violin on the carpet and started jumping up and down and waving her adorable little hands and yelling, "I play Shave and a Haircut, I play Shave and a haircut!!!" It was SO funny to see her so excited. I wish I had it on camera. I am also glad she told me what the song was, because I didn't quite get it when I listened. We practiced together for a minute and she is pretty good at the rhythm now. Fun Stuff!
We got to go to a fiddle Halloween party last Saturday that was so fun. Our teacher and a few other teachers invited their students to get together for a jam session and just play together. Colin and Robyn got right up on stage with the guitar players and played every song they had memorized. Colin was bumed that he didn't know more songs so he has been very motivated to practice since. It was lots more fun than a recital because it was so relaxed and the audience could talk or dance or eat or color together while they listened. The kids who wanted to play stood by the stage and the guitar guys would say come on up and then they would play for as long as they wanted to and then someone else would play. Even Grace got to do her bow song and "play" Shave and a Haircut with the guitar players. We all had a blast! I can't wait to do it again.
We are having a formal recital on November 11 at 10:30 in the morning if anyone is interested.

Quote of the Day -

If you want to build a ship, don't herd people together to collect wood and don't assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea.

--Antione de Saint-Exupery

Tickets to the Show
The card stock supply has been reduced to scraps due the the production of countless DVDs, CDs, Videos, and casset tapes by "Card Studios" so this week the only thing left to create was tickets to see the shows.
Colin and Robyn made many tickets to many different shows. They had two theaters - one that showed prerecorded movies and one that was live plays. They made the tickets and then came to sell them to Grace and I. We bought several tickets (with our pretend money, of course) but we didn't know what time to show up for the show. The ticket vendors took our tickets and sent them back to printing to print times on the backs. Colin brought me one back that said 7.99 - this lead to a perfect opportunity to discuss time. I showed him the clock on the stove so he could see the colon (not a period) and then we remembered from a library book we'd had last week that time was a base 60 calculation not a base 100 like money. He remembered that time could only go to 59 and happily fixed the ticket to say 7:30.
The ticket was to "Teddy Grahams Eat Honey" which was a live show so it was in the theater in the family room (the movie theater is on the landing of the stairs so everyone can see with the stadium seating). Colin, Robyn, and Robyn's Sleeping Baby were in the show. It was so funny. They sat around a plastic drawer and pretended to eat honey while singing a little poem they made up about eating honey. I loved it so much that I asked for an encore to film. The camera had bad batteries (Randy fixed it when he got home.) so I had to drag out the old video camera to capture the play. Then we plugged the camera into the TV (Colin showed me how) and watched it repeatedly on the television and laughed and laughed. The kids LOVED being on TV. After that they played their fiddles for me to make a movie of to watch on TV. (That was a great way to show Colin that his bow is too close to the bridge and that's why he sounds so squeaky sometimes. I should have thought of that weeks ago! He sounds much better now.) Then they watched a bit of an old movie we'd made of Colin's 2nd birthday and baby Robyn. They loved seeing themselves when they were little. We had a very fun morning.

so‧cial‧i‧za‧tion  /ˌsoʊʃələˈzeɪʃən/ Pronunciation[soh-shuh-luh-zey-shuhn]
–noun
1. a continuing process whereby an individual acquires a personal identity and learns the norms, values, behavior, and social skills appropriate to his or her social position.

SOCIALIZATION OF HOMESCHOOLERS

Lest anyone think that my children are perfect, I should remind you that I generally only blog the good stuff about them. :) They are pretty darn awesome though!

I have a few tricks that work for us pretty well (at least I think they do, I will have to do a follow up to this report in about 15 - 20 years).

The first comes from Richard and Linda Eyre. It is our rules. We have only four LAWS in our house that must be followed. They pretty much cover everything that I need them too and they are easy to remember because we made them into a song. It goes, "Peace, Order, Asking, Obedience - These are the Reeder's Laws." Pretty easy, huh. Even the neighbor kids can learn our laws pretty quickly and they can choose to follow the laws or go home, so far everyone has choosen to follow the laws. (We don't usually introduce the laws to the neighbors unless one is about to be broken, at which point it is nice to have quick easy to learn laws.)

The second is our "Reeder's Quest for Zion" ladder. I think it is the Articles of Faith Scripture Scouts CDs that talk about Zion (AofF #10)- We love Scripture Scouts! They are great to introduce Gospel topics that are tough for a mom to pin down. Anyway after we learned about Zion, we could try to make our home be like Zion. I dug out an old corkboard and painted a ladder with 9 rungs on it. The ninth rung is Zion of course and everyone starts there and tries to stay there. I will try to describe it as best as I can - it' too big to scan and I did something to the camera filming an original play called, "Teddy Grahams eat Honey" this morning so I can't take a picture (perhaps I will blog more on the lessons learned in drama later).
Rung #9 = ZION
Rung #8= Friends, trips, and treats
Rung #7 = Computer/TV
Rung #6 = Play outside or do crafts
Rung #5 = Games or writing/drawing
Rung #4 = Play legos or babies
Rung #3 = Read Books or do Workbook pages
Rung #2 = Chores and Thinking time
Rung #1 = Puppy Line

We use push pins in the cork board to mark where each kid is on the ladder (Colin is blue, Robyn is Red, and Grace is green - Grace hasn't exactly learned cause and effect yet so it isn't as effective for her, but she likes to be big so we let her.)
You can do whatever you are high enough on the ladder to do. For example if you are in Zion you can do anything on the ladder, if you are only on rung 6 and a friend wants to play you have to say "sorry, I am not high enough on the ladder right now."
I get to decide how many rungs are moved either up or down depending on the severity of the disruption from Zion. The kid who takes us out of Zion by breaking one of the laws has to move his own pin down how ever many I say (usually two rungs). When someone helps make our home more like Zion by following the laws (coming when called, doing jobs without being asked, reading stories to Grace.....) then I will ask them to move up rungs. Sometimes if someone (usually Robyn) is already at Zion and is caught being extra helpful then I give them a small treat or a snuggle in the rocking chair to read a favorite book or something. When we are out (like at a doctor's office), you can still lose or gain rungs and I remind them of that when I need them to be especially good.
At first there was a lot of moving up and down rungs, but lately everyone has been staying up near 8. Its very nice. It has also helped me to recognize when the kids are being good and reward good behavior at least as often as I get after them for poor behavior. The main advantage is that it really helps everyone to recognize that they are responsible for their our choices and how they use their agency deterimes what they can and can not do (it's not just that mom is being mean). It is fun on a Friday night to occasionally say, " Hey, everyone is high enough on the ladder for a special trip - let's go out to eat." I think it helps everyone feel that they earned the trip instead of feeling entitled to a trip.

The third is that we spend time as a family studying and talking about scripture. Randy and I read the BOM each morning before he leaves for work. The kids are welcome to join us if they want to but we don't require it and if they choose to come they have to be reverent. (They usually do chose to join us if they are awake. But before when we required it - let's just say scripture study wasn't all that spiritual.) I usually talk about what we read that morning at breakfast when they are eating so I have their attention and yet they are busy. I also read the BOM with Colin at night if he askes me too - some nights he does, some nights he doesn't. We listen to Scripture Scout CDs and talk about them when we need to.
When issues or questions come up, I try to use scripture to address them. Like when agency issues come up, we talk about stories like Jonah (he didn't have a lot of agency inside the whale) and Nephi (Helman 10) where he was so righteous that God gave him power to bind and loose on earth and in heaven.
Or when we were having issues of Colin "fertilizing" the girls' "eggs" when they were playing house so babies could come out of their tummies. (YIKES, I was NOT ready for that one! He didn't know exactly how it worked and everyone stayed fully clothed, but I was not comfortable with that kind of play.) Colin and I snuggled on the couch that happened to have a proclaimation on the wall behind it and we talked. Luckily we had been listening to scripture scouts Proclaimation on the Family so we were both familiar with it. We talked about that God made boys and girls different and Heavenly Father wants us to make babies but that the "sacred powers of procreation were to be employed" only by married moms and dads. We talked about how that was too sacred to play in pretend. He actually asked me (he's 5!!!!) exactly how a dad fertilizes a mom's egg, so I told him. I am really glad to have my first "Birds and the Bees" talk over with. It wasn't as bad as it could have been and I really feel like the spirit was with us as we talked and used the prophet's words so it was sacred not nasty or something.
It is nice to use scripture so it not just some crazy idea that mom has! We all want to follow Jesus, not Satan and the scriptures pretty much tell it like it is.

I have read A LOT of parenting books and I have found that many of them are written by people who's kids did not turn out so they are writing what they should have done - not very credible sources in my mind. One parenting book that actually helped me was "Your Children will Whistle while They Work" by James J Jones. The more helpful part of the book is about three paragraphs in the introduction on page 6 where he talks about "The Two Great Opposing Beliefs about the Nature of Man." He says that the two belief systems are 1 - People are free to choose for themselves in life and will, therefore, learn to avoid pain and seek happiness and that they are responsible for the consequences of those choices. And 2- We people are not capable of making the "right" choices in life and must therefore be controlled and forced to do what others believe is best for us. I had an epiphany when I read that about my own parenting and just who's "plan" I was following in my home and who's "plan" that I wanted to follow. Life has been MUCH better since we started following the Great Plan of Happiness.
(Dr. Jones book also helped me to help the kids learn cause and effect, which has to be learned before the ladder will work - we liked the star charts to help us focus on ONE behavior that was driving me crazy at a time. For example, when ever Colin is difficult to get a long with, he crosses his eyebrows. We made a starchart to help remind him not to cross his eyebrows about two years ago and he has been much more pleasant since! Funny how focusing on not crossing your eyebrows when you speak also helps you sound more pleasant.)

Anyway this got kinda long. Hopefully it is helpful to someone.

Have I ever said how wonderful my kids are? Well, they are. Apparently they are a little abnormal as they seem to amaze people wherever we go.
Today I took the three of them to the doctor's office for an appointment I had to get a mole checked out. We determine that the mole had to go and Dr. H asked if I'd like to reschedule for a time when the kids weren't with me. I told her that I didn't think they would be a problem and we came with the intention of having the mole biopsied. She said she was ok with it if I was, so away the mole went. I now have four stitches on my belly and the mole is in a little jar being shipped to the lab.
The children were the normal, wonderful kids they are. They passed the time eating their little boxes of raisins and laughing together and playing trucks, they hardly noticed the surgery going on above them. When the last stitch was stitched and clean up commenced, Dr. H said, "I can't believe I just did that with three kids in the room, I love to hear the sound of children's laughter."
It is nice to have kids you can take anywhere without worrying too much about behavior!

House of Learning

Microwave Caramel Popcorn - Cracker Jack Style

We like this caramel corn because it is not sticky! Oh, and because it tastes good.

You need:
3 Quarts popped corn in a PAPER grocery bag
(you can add peanuts to the corn if you like.)

1 C Brown sugar
1/4 C corn syrup
1 stick butter
1/2 tsp salt

Microwave these four ingredients for 3 minutes, stir, cook 2 minutes more.
Add:
1/2 tsp baking soda
1 tsp vanilla
stir until foamy. Pour over popcorn. Fold top of bag over and shake until all the corn is coated with the caramel sauce.
Microwave 1 1/2 minutes. Shake. Cook 1 1/2 minutes. Shake. You may need to cook one more minute.
Cool on cookie sheet.

This popcorn should store ok for about two weeks, but it never lasts more than an hour at our house so I haven't tested that theory. :)

Here are a few pictures of the girls riding the horses. I took Robyn on the first ride and we did fine - she was on the back of me so I could use my knees to hang on. Then I put Grace on the front of me for the second ride - mistake! I couldn't use my knees anymore and the stirrups were a smidge too long. After our incident, Grace went for a good ride with Grandpa holding her. That was more fun than falling off with mom! It is very cute to see Grandpa with his grandbabies!